Phone Callers

..Words of advice if you are ever making a phone call to an unknown business:

DO NOT ask for a phone number without having a pen, paper, lip stick, cell phone, someone else's cell phone around when you ask for the damn number....Its the worst when someone calls YOU with 100% intentions for a number, but then makes you wait and get angry with you because they aren't ready for a number THEY asked for!

DO NOT call a business and give attitude to the person answering the phone because you got the number wrong! for example..
Person answering the phone " Hello..blah business"
Person calling " WHO?" (tons of attitude)
PATP " Hello...business"
PC " What it is this, what number is this, why you answering?"
PATP " This is the... business."
PC " Well why did you answer the phone" and hangs up because they are made that you aren't the right number...

DO NOT call a business and tell the person answering what they should do in order to sue their "baby's daddy" because he be gettin out of jail soon....

Super Bowl

My thoughts on the Super Bowl...

I don't know what it is that just gets people in a tizzy about the Super Bowl...like is there a need for these intense parties or to buy tvs and take them back? To over stuff your face with personal size sandwiches, chips and salsa, cookies shaped like footballs, and people to hoot and holler over a 30 second commercials they their eyes just saw the Victoria Secret fashion show.

Don't get me wrong I immensely enjoy football and I can agree that its fun to go to parties if you don't have a life on Monday, but these are things that really generate excitement to my ears regarding the words "Super Bowl"

• Super Bowl KEG party...bring your green hat
• Super BIG Bowl of Cocktails
• Super Bowl of Ice cream
• Super Bowl of Smart Start cereal
• Super "packed" Bowl
• Super Bowling tournament
• Super Fruit Bowl

Quick facts:
-There are more pizza deliveries made during Super Bowl Sunday than on any other day of the year... America is just FAT any day.

-More women are physically abused by spouses and boyfriends on Super Bowl Sunday than any other day of the year....WOWOW see I knew I didn't care for this particular football game..at any second I could get the shit kicked out of me by a drunk boy who had too much Stella Artois and Cheeto's and is upset his team lost. SO do wifes beat up their husbands when American Idol finale is on and their person doesn't win?

-The stock market predictably fluctuates up or down the Monday after the Super Bowl depending on which league wins ...OR depending on what broker lost all of his money being a drunk pompous bastard at the company Super Bowl party or the degree of hangover...they could still be blacked out.

Lastly, we all know the Patriots are going to win because hes getting laid by Gisele Bundchen and hes has a great number...#12

Tyra needs to Go Away!

There are two people I strongly dislike/hate in the entertainment business.
Number 1 enemy: OPRAH
Number 2: TYra Banks

I'm not gonna lie that I am a huge fan of America's Next Top Model, but the entire time I watch the show I just cringed at the fact that Tyra Banks is talking and "making eyes pop" and I have to say sarcastic remarks that follow everything she says. Its just given.... but T-Banks now has another show in the works to show us how much knowledge she has being a professional model.

This new series has received an eight-episode order and will begin production in April for a launch in late spring or summer. The show, which the CW unofficially describes as "The Devil Wears Prada" meets "The Assistant," is eyed as a potential companion piece for "Top Model." ;TB as a bossy bossman...that has annoying just written all over it, FUck..

"It is a competition show about aspiring assistants looking to become assistant editors at a fashion magazine," Mok said. "At the same time they're trying to prove themselves as aspiring fashionistas, that they have a sense of style and savvyness, all the things to make it in the fashion world."

So when this series comes out please make sure to look out for me because this sounds right up my ally. Although, each challenge i'd probably want to stab Trya and if Oprah made an appearance I'd completely loose my cool... I will be the Next Top Assistant!!!!

If I didn't have eyes...

If I didn't have eyes and especially ears...I'd HATE myself...

The reason:

Facial hair brings Grave Danger to others

Now no one is perfect and no one has perfect facial hair. Some have unnecessary hairs , some have whiskers, some have no form of facial hairs and you are over the age of 25 (you wonder... Did puberty happen?)..Wikipedia says: Facial hair is the secondary sex characteristic of Males. I think it is the first characteristic of males that can scare you out of having sex...but thats me.
It also says:--- Male pogonotrophy (the growing of facial hair; i.e, beardedness) is often culturally associated with wisdom and virility. Many men style their facial hair into beards, moustaches, goatees or sideburns. However, many others completely shave their facial hair. Although only certain nonhuman mammals have true sensory whiskers, a man's facial hair, especially short hairs that were missed in shaving, is often referred to as whiskers.----

Here is a great list of the facial hair types:

• Neckbeard
• An old beard that is grown only on the neck and worn without a goatee or moustache. Also known as a Scarf, Trevor. Pejoratively, a beard grown to hide a double chin. Also, known as a "Nair" or a "Bloatee." Made famous by Abraham Lincoln
• Sideburns
• Patches of facial hair on the sides of one's face in front of the ears.
• Soul Patch
• A small patch of hair just below the lower lip and above the chin. It is most readily identified as a style popular among the beatniks and jazz artists of the 50s and 60s. See Mouche.
• See-through Sammie
• A very thin mustache, usually grown by adolescents and young men eager to demonstrate their manliness. Named because one can easily see through the hair to the skin.
• Shenandoah
• A style of facial hair which has a long neck beard, with a short goatee and bushy mustach

• Wing Chow
• This resembles the Fu Manchu but is slightly longer. The Wing Chow also has connecting sideburns that run along the edge of the nose and up to the ears.

• Walrus
• A large, bushy moustache; frequently overflowing and covering the lips. Anecdotally considered a favorite of clandestine operatives due to defacilitating lip-reading.
• The list could go out...please see
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_types_of_facial_hair

Most of these where shaved/grown as a joke ( which is totally funny...but some are not!!! YIKES)

Plan- C

I know this could be totally cruel or totally right on for some or totally helpful...but Caffeine tied with miscarriages .Too much caffeine during pregnancy may increase the risk of miscarriage, a new study says, and it suggests that pregnant women may want to reduce their intake or cut it out entirely. I don't know about you but that gives me all the reason not to have kids. tall skim latte vs being preggers...come on!
OR
Maybe Starbucks should start to market themselves to the slutty demographic...if you know what I mean. Keep the coffee coming...haha

This picture explains ALOT

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/20/health/20cnd-caffeine.html?bl&ex=1201150800&en=0019b93b4bb1c219&ei=5087%0A

Style me Pretty

Finally I get to put it out there that I AMMMM a fashion diva! Well not that extreme..don't want my head to get big...but check out www.detroitfashionpages.com!!! There you will see a lil style profile of local bars and events in Detroit. I get to pick my favs and hash out the peeps that look just wrong...

http://www.detroitfashionpages.com/fashion/fashion-441.asp

Check ya later LC!!!

VS.

Re-Evaluate this!

Going out downtown and finding myself with a green wig and my friend snuggled up to a guy in a mullet needs some re-evaluation.


What doesn't need any evaluating: yellow strappy sandals

Holy Texter II.

Once again....NEVER GIVE YOUR NUMBER TO STRANGERS :0!!! but these texts get better and better daily.
H.T. texts this morning"What r yall thinking today. Satan robs happiness by atta A New Way"

..too funny

LC buys a 2million dollar house.....EXCUSE ME?

PageSix.com has learned that former Laguna Beach star Lauren Conrad is set to move out of her current Hills home for a stunning $2 million, four-bedroom, four-bathroom mini-mansion on the Hollywood flats just off Sunset Boulevard. IS THIS A JOKE? She makes that much money? I am honestly waiting for the LC/Lauren Barbie Doll or something. Maybe LC/Lauren can make a sleeping bag with her face or something?

- Dear MTV,
Um I wouldn't mind having a show called "The D" so then I can become a millionaire.
OK thanks.
Jaclyn

mind bloggers

Random thoughts and questions...
-Does carrot cake really have carrot in it?

- People who dress in EMO (girls jeans when you are a dude)...are they really comfortable? or just have no feeling in their pants?

- At what age do you no longer have a face on the web? See ya later facebook /myspace.

- I love for my name to be Simon that way I can tell people to do what I want because "Simon says". Lets just say my friends show be lucky its not... Or should I be lucky that I still had friends?

- Whats the point of decaf coffee? Does anyone really really LOVE the taste of coffee that much they drink it for fun? that'd be like smoking a fake cig just to stand in the cold holding a cig

The holy texter

1. Just like your parents always told you "Never take candy from strangers". Same goes out for giving your number. So I am telling you (as a friend not a chirping p-rent) "Never give out numbers to absolute first encounter strangers" Why you ask...come we all know why, but I never expected this situation to happen....

A friend gives out her number to a valet man...he seemed friendly, nice, maybe he could just be a good person...BUT little did she know: he would send her text messages everyday regarding a new passage from the bible. Nothing against religion, but what makes someone think its ok to text this without knowing this stranger ?
the text:
Word of the day is, " the righteous will hold 2 their ways, and those with clean hands will grow stronger." Job 17:9 NIV R your hands clean?"

My take ...simply answer " Always, I keep antibacterial hand cream in my purse"
-maybe he will catch a clue?????

When bad things happen to good people

New years should never make anyone do this to themselves....

Horseshoe moustache with flares of 'chop' intermixed



LOVE Ittttttt :)