The Bounce House

a 3 year old Birthday party couldn't have gone any better. This past weekend was a celebration of my nephew's third year in the wild world of life. So a party at an indoor facility with bouncy things was in order. I took full advantage of being Aunt Jackie and got silly. What I did not think would happen was me walking out of that joint as the ONLY person with 2 snoopy bandages from being burned on the slide and a watery eye because I was jacked in the face with a dodge ball. The toddlers walked away scratch, bruise, burned free. Me not so much. I won't add the fact that I was still buzzed from the previous night and the 4 beers before the bounce house had anything to do with being injured. Before and after shots of myself. Happy... Not happy. I got Bounced.

J'adore Paris <3

Bonjour Paris! J'ai manqué vous!

June 9th-11th

The time finally came and I was back in my favorite city in the world, Paris. Alex and I toured the romantic city. We made of all of the stops minus the Louvre. That was heart breaking. We hiked up the E.Tower to catch the fab views from the top. The best part about Paris, was the evening dinner at Aubergy de la Bonne Franquette. A traditional French restaurant (well obviously ) located in Montmartre's artist quarter. A three course dinner and endless amounts of wine. In the picture you can see we took full advantage of this. The waiter loved our American guts not to mention the entertainer who resembled a clown/David Bowie with too tight red pants. I also thought he looked like Betsy Johnson, the fashion designer.

Once we were all boozed up the next stop was Novelle Eve, a cabaret show. Topless girls and shimmys took over the stage along with magic tricks. I was highly entertained. The champagne did wonders and the dazzlin Can Can dances stole my heart. I did not want to leave, we soon then returned to our camp ground and our hot box cabins and kept drinking the night away. Next stop was London and my European travels were over. :(

Switerland: Lauterbrunnen

The Fall
Behind the Fall

June 8th- June 9th

Swiss Alps, where the dogs had those barrels on their necks and I had some major rest and relaxation. The scernery was UNREAL. I took that in and watched a few fotball matches. My partner and crime was MIA with illness so I took it easy because I was way too excited for PARIS...

Italy- take me to Venice, Rome, Florence

Florence:

June 7th

Rome was great, but we had to leave and take our morning drive to Florence. The morning drive to Florence included a walking tour to the Duomo, Giotto's Bell Tower, Piazza Dell Signoria and the Basilica of Sante Croce. I got some leather bracelets and some sliver earrings. We saw the real naked David and then stalked a gelateria .Nothing funny really happened besides the fact we were rained on and I had a wet dress all night. My friend turned into a Gypsy at the bar and begged for money. He only received a lemon and a date website business card and a shit load of funny looks. By 4 am my dress was dried.

The Gyspy begger and his bus. card

Italy- take me to Venice, Rome, Florence

Rome:

June 4th-6th

Just Romin' around y'all...

To continue from the previous night of having our tudes' adjusted I was in NO shape or form to see Rome. I am not crazy so of course I sucked it up and got my Rome on. The Eternal City has met it's match and that would be the wrath of a hungover American girl. The ancient city was beyond my wildest imagination. The Trevi Fountain, the Pantheon, Piazza Novona, The Colosseum, Imperial Forum and the Vatican City made this trip worth all of my dolla bills.

We stayed on a camp ground once again in a hot box cabin. The funniest lil diddy I have about ROme is on the first night we were by the Trevi Fountain, we were directed to eat an authentic Italian meal down "cheap street" Our crew found a restaurant called "Take It Easy Cafe". DUN DUN DUN that's where we should have put 2 and 2 together. Cheap street + Takin it easy = one terrible meal from a microwave!!!!!!!! haha . The joke was on us being dumb American tourists.

Italy- take me to Venice, Rome, Florence

Venice: June 2nd-4th

Ciao Bella, I tell ya...if I would have heard that one more time I probably was going to go ape on an Italian dude in Italy. (side note)

Anyways me and my travelin bud, Alex left Munich. The beer hall and disco party done us in, but I wouldn't have asked for anything more. On the way to Venice we journeyed past Verona, home to Romeo and Juliet. We then took a short boat ride to see the historical centre of Venice called St. Mark's Square (I'd prefer to call it Pigeon Paradise/playground or my demise where i learned to matrix the piges at any split micro second), the Doges' Place, and the Bridge of Sighs.


We ventured around the city and I'd have to say it was my favorite place so far. We got lost several times. We had UNREAL lattes and pizza boats. We were told it was fun to get lost, not gonna lie after the 5th attempt to finding where we needed to be I was not in mood to be "lost" anymore. The way to cheer us up was the priceless gondola ride where we were serenaded by a gondolier and his "I love yous" and kisses faces stole our hearts. NOT really, but what did steal my heart was my lil bottle of vino at 2 pm.

After the city we went back to our campground where life got FUZZY and Alex became a Hotmess of sickness. We did enjoy our last night by getting wild and "adjusting" out attitudes with these cocktails called "attitude adjusters" Alls I have to say is... Welp I don't remember much after ONE!

Austria....The official shut down of my life. 8pm bedtime

June 1st- June 2nd

Hopfgarten, Austria...THE AUSTRIAN TYROL!!!!

On this beautiful morning drive, and by beautiful I mean I was hungover as all hell. Liters of beer that leads to liters of fun at a small club with 4 bottles of vodka from the night before. Boy oh boy! Anyways it was a beautiful morning mountain drive from Bavaria to the Austrian Tyrol. I enjoyed the scenery and asked GOd if this was his homeland. It was beyond gorgeous. The air was fresh and it was soon to solve my issues of a hangover. We had a 30km bike ride in the mountains. Alex and I used this to our advantage as the first time our bodies would experience a work out. I wasnt sure if Lance Armstrong decided in a flash to join our trip or that was Alex who was transformed into "livestrong" biker and biked her life away. We pushed this 30km bike ride to the next level. Not to mention I got pooped on by a bird. And people wonder why I HATE birds? Once our bike trip was over we decided to jump in the fresh water lake Austria had to offer. I felt like the end was near, but had enough energy to club that iceburg below. The BURG dominated me and bruised my rib as I slipped off it. That very night was the night I shuter down and went to sleep at 8 pm. I wanted to join everyone else who took part in the "White Party", but I just couldn't do it. Even if P.Diddy was there, I still wouldn't have been able to pull myself together. Little did Alex know the beginning of her sickness was just around the corner...Next stop VENICE!

Prague To Munich- When Life Got ZILLY

May 29th-30th

That morning traveling to Prague we stopped in Dresden before crossing the border into the Czech Republic. The golden city was about to be discovered.We were a week in and I was almost willing to sell my soul to the devil for how bad my hangovers and stomach hurt. We got home to Wombats at 6am we needed to leave by 7:15 to Prague. We were once again owned by our tour. We got a milkshake and a coke at the nearest McDonald's in Dresden and was ready to shake rattle and roll...I fell in love with Prague the moment I stepped foot in the city. I will Praguly go back and Czech it out again. :) I said that a few too many times on the trip. Our day in Prague consisted of going on a boat cruise along the River Vltava and enjoyed the scenery mixed in with the local beer. This gave us ideas only to consume our soberness and rehash the alkey from the night before. We spent our day in Prague boozing in the small pubs and playing the game "would you rather" ....it was truly a full cultured experience. We had dinner in a small pub and the next thing you know we are at a pub with taps at your table. I got on the the table to take pictures and once I slipped off the table......I realized it was time to go home and go to sleep at our hostel. Awwww such a lovely day.

Hanging out in Prague

Taps at the table aka HEaven

May 31st

Munich Beer Hall Madness

Not knowing what day it really was... I knew I had a HUGE day a head of me because it was BEER HALL time with all of the tastes of German specialties like roasted pork knuckles. beer (duhhhh) dancers, yodellers and musicians not to mention the insane amount of Chinese people who came to visit as well.

Alex and I wondered around Munich ALL day. I was beyond tired so instead of looking at shops that we knew we couldn't afford we found a park and just laid there laughing at pictures from the nights before and peeping all of the couples cuddling. I was a nice day. The only thing on our mind was the Beer Hall. Our hostel was filled with lil rodents ages 10-13 who played youth soccer. They were EVERYWHERE and even allowed into the bar in the basement. I rocked out a side pony and even found a lil guy who had a mullet in which I transformed for him a side pony as well. Our tour guide and bus driver took it upon themselves to dress up in the authentic leader- husein. It was priceless and I was extremely jealous.

Amsterdam to Berlin: "You can't bring me down like that WALL"

May 25th- May 28th

My last entry was regarding Amsterdamage and that Chinese restaurant. Needless to say that night led to cocktails until 5 am and me resorting to drinking Jack Daniels because I was naive and couldn't get drunk......puhhshhhhhhhh..I did get drunk and with help of the camera/video recorder I am sliding down poles....will be posted soon

Berlin: We passed over Hannover and crossed the river of Elbe and made our way into Germany. It was time to explore the lively city ( indeed it was lively) We went on a 3 hour walking tour that lead Alex to blister hell and lead me to almost blow out my right knee on the sidewalk because I don't know how to walk and I tripped. IT was funny..no pictures of that though.

Here is my journal entry:

Welp if anything its 5 million facts on Berlin and that damn Wall. Tons of history today, but I am choosing to leave it here and take the finer things like the club scene. Our hostel was amazing called Wombats and had a bar on the top roof. We roomed with the Twins again and I still don't know their names that's why I just call them the "twins". Alex and I ventured into the city after our 3 hr walking tour. Alex proceeded to loose all desire to walk when she discovered her new flip flops where on the hunt to kill her feet. Bad News. In order to reevaluate the pain we decided to go on a pub crawl. I donned a scarf that was later transformed into Rambo's headband. (pics) We had an eye spy pub crawl where miss competitor herself decided to go big or go home. Sprints and back sweat included to find the clues to each new bar. She wanted to make it to the last pub first to receive the free drinks(which was never true). I am happy I decided to walk with a free pretzel in hand and a to-go beer. It was great fun. The next step was stumbling to a 4 room club where I was traditionally chirped by a German DJ who probably wished that Berlin Wall was still up to send me across it and where I got hit on by a gay guy asking for a free drink. I didn't know if that was mean trick he played and thought I too fuggly for him to buy me a drink or if he was gay and they prefer women to buy them drinks???? In the end I told him to buzz off. After that the bartender took fancy to my humor and that gave me an idea to go behind the bar and try to pour myself a vodka on the rocks without him seeing.......I was caught, but I got to wear his hat. The night was concluded with a lil photo booth drunk action and a snooze. Prague awaits us! "

Sorry....

Dear Friends and Fans (if I have any),

I am truely sorry I neglected the rest of my trip. I was metaphored into this being with no immune system who loves to party for 21 days and thinks she can only survive on wine, beer and fun. That being said I had an UNREAL time. To be frank, I didn't want to waste my booze euro on the internet to blog on this crap.... But I am here now with pictures and fun facts. There are somethings I need to share with everyone and there are somethings that should NEVER be mentioned. I have a water in hand and I have journal entries that will allow me to remember what happened to me and my traveling mate Alex.

Cheers!

Jackie